Casual daters get a bad rap for ruining online dating for everyone. To be fair, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to date and have fun without making a commitment. But there’s a right way to go about it and a wrong way. If you’re online dating, there are some things you should include in your dating profile if you’re not interested in a relationship.
“If you’re using dating apps and you’re not looking for someone serious, you definitely want to make that known,” Michelle Baxo, international love coach and dating expert, tells The Date Mix. “There’s nothing worse than going on a date with someone who has a completely different set of expectations.”
Some people are hesitant to say they’re not interested in a relationship for fear of turning people off. But it’s no different than saying you like a certain sports team or food. The right people for you are going to like you and the wrong ones aren’t. Making people believe that you’re looking for one thing when it’s the complete opposite is just as bad as having profile pictures from 10 years ago. Nobody wants to be misled.
So here are some dating profile tips you should use if you’re not looking for something serious.
Be upfront and honest.
Let’s start with the most obvious tip. Don’t lie or try to deceive people about what you’re really looking for.
“Just as I advise people looking for a partnership to say so on their profile, anyone who isn’t looking for a partnership should say so as well,” Baxo says.
There are many ways to go about it. But it’s important to use language that’s universally understood so you end up matching with people who want the same thing you do. For instance, you may want to include phrases like, “no strings attached,” “just looking to have fun,” “not looking for anything serious,” or “not looking for commitment” in your profile.
Drop hints about your lifestyle.
Being clear and upfront is the best way to go. But you can also add details about your life that help to drive the point home. For example, “New in town. Looking to meet new people,” or “I’m always traveling. I never stay in one place for too long.”
“That will usually come across as someone who wants to have some fun at the moment,” Jackie Bencivenga, psychotherapist at MyTherapist New York, says. “Nobody likes to be misled. Coming off honest from the beginning is a smart idea, especially in the online world where things are very easily misinterpreted.”
Keep your profile light.
“If you’re just looking for something fun, don’t try to impress people with how deep and introspective you are,” Eric Resnick, professional dating profile writer at ProfileHelper, tells The Date Mix. While that may be the case, it may come off as if you’re looking for something a little more serious. Instead, try aiming for fun, goofy, or spontaneous.
Avoid using “serious” photos.
Even if you’re just looking for something casual, you still want to pick photos that will make people want to match with you.
“This is not the place for ‘the pensive shot’ or over-dressed professional photos,” Resnick says. “Stick with candids that show you happy, relaxed, and in your natural setting.”
Focus on apps that attract more casual daters.
There are tons of different dating platforms out there, and you’ll get a good mix of people looking for fun and a relationship. But to maximize your chances of meeting someone who wants the same thing you do, avoid apps that are geared towards more serious daters.
“If you’re looking for something less serious, you want to avoid some of the bigger, more traditional dating apps like Match, Zoosk, and eHarmony,” Resnick says. Instead focus on apps like Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, and Plenty of Fish.
If an app has the option to filter what you’re looking for, then make sure to utilize this. Checking off “something casual” can make it easier for you to find someone who’s also just looking for something fun.
Dating apps can be a great way to meet all sorts of people looking for all sorts of relationships, but they only work well if you’re honest about what you want. There are plenty of people out there, men and woman, looking for something less serious. Be open about what you’re looking for and you’ll attract them.