Online dating requires a certain skillset in order to be successful. With so many people out there giving it a try, there’s a huge pool of people to choose from (which is great) but also a lot of competition (which isn’t so great). It doesn’t take long for men who are starting out online dating without a properly constructed profile, to realize they’re putting themselves at a disadvantage.
On the other end of the spectrum, those who learn how to optimize their profiles often have much better luck when it comes to making matches and meeting up for dates.
If you’re a guy using online dating apps, your goal shouldn’t just be to have a great online dating profile. Your goal should be to have the best online dating profile. I’ve spent over ten years creating profiles and have seen a lot of the worst and best online dating has to offer.
Before you put your profile together, let’s take a look at nine things the best online dating profiles for men have in common:
1. A Great Visual Story
You don’t have to be genetically superior to attract incredible women online. But you do have to learn how to tell a great visual story.
A great visual story goes beyond simply showing what you look like.It reveals your hobbies, interests, passions, and overall, what it would look like to be in a relationship with you.
If I were to post pictures of myself sky-diving, with my dog, with friends, with family, and my most recent trips to Iceland and Europe, I am instantly communicating to women that I am adventurous, family oriented, love animals, have an active social life, and love to travel.
Think of each picture as an opportunity to tell a great story about yourself and why a woman should want to date you.The stronger that story is, the more successful you will be online.
2. Something to Make Women Laugh
Ask any woman what the number one quality they look for in a man is, and a sense of humor will almost always be at the top of the list.The more you make women laugh online, the more likely they are to engage with your profile.
Why?For starters, online dating can be extremely tedious and boring after a while.A little humor in your profile, relieves the monotony and helps to reinvigorate enthusiasm.But on a simpler note, it signals to women that a date with you will probably be a fun time.At the end of the day, everyone just wants to live a life filled with laughter.
3. An Open-Minded Attitude
No woman wants to meet a guy who is stuck in his ways.The best profiles show excitement about life and a strong desire to try new things.
Whether you’re posting pictures that depict all the incredible experiences you’ve had in life, or are writing about all the things you enjoy doing or hope to try one day, the more you can communicate that a relationship with you won’t devolve into a lifetime on a couch together, the better off you’ll be.
4. Confidence
A lot of men online unintentionally come across as lonely, needy, or desperate with the words they use.Let’s take a look at one brief example.
There is a difference between, “I really hope to meet someone who is fun, loyal, and intelligent,” and, “The perfect woman for me would be fun, ready for a committed relationship, and intelligent.”
The word hope conveys loneliness and desperation, whereas, the perfect woman for me conveys confidence and control of the situation.In addition, using the word loyal might make a woman wonder if the guy they’re looking at has been cheated on, whereas, ready for a committed relationship comes across as a genuine guy looking for something serious.
The key takeaway: The slightest words choice can make a difference in how you’re perceived, so pay close attention.
5. Zero Negative Energy
The worst thing you can ever do is create lists of what you don’t want in a woman or write in a manner that appears cynical. Negative energy results in negative attention, or in most cases, no attention at all.
Instead of listing what you don’t want in a partner, focus on what you do want in a partner in a positive and optimistic manner.
6. Good Structure
If you post your profile as one humungous paragraph, or even two giant paragraphs, almost nobody will read it.The structure of your profile needs to be easy on the eyes.
Notice how this article is written in a long series of small paragraphs. If all of this was one giant paragraph, it would remain unread for eternity.
The way I create online dating profiles is by structuring them into several mini-paragraphs, with each paragraph being no longer than 2-3 sentences.
The best profiles can be read like an engaging short story about your life, that flow from one paragraph to the next, but can also be skimmed for information if a woman is in a rush.
7. List Lots of Interests
Always avoid being broad and vague with your writing.The more commonalities a woman can find when she reads your profile, the more likely it is that she’ll find things to connect with and want to engage with you about.
You don’t want to write a profile that babbles on forever. But you do want to squeeze in a lot of interesting information in a manner that is both engaging and economical with your words.
8. Show, Don’t Tell
Most guys make the mistake of saying that they’re funny, adventurous, etc.But these are just words.
The impact of actually making a woman laugh, telling an anecdote that shows you are adventurous, or posting pictures that reveal your best personality traits will be leaps and bounds more effective than simply jotting down a list of adjectives.
9. Create A Fear Of Missing Out
The best profiles don’t just create interest, they make the other person feel like they’re going to miss out on someone really great if they don’t match with and message you.
How is this done?By combining everything discussed above, along with revealing what makes you unique.For everyone out there, this answer is different.
The best place to start is to scan your life and jot down all the most interesting things about you, as well as the most interesting things you’ve done or plan on doing, and work from there.Once you get the wheels spinning, start writing and begin the drafting process.
It may sound like work, but putting a little bit of work into your profile will result in a lot less work messaging and reaching out to people who don’t take you seriously because your profile looks unfinished.